After Attempting Suicide–1986

It’s falling apart-all over the place-when you need a friend and none are around.
So you harden yourself on the outside, so no one can see you crying within.
But somewhere, somehow, something’s gonna break, and everything will come pouring out for all to see.
You’re bleeding tears, quiet tears that were meant for private places, not for all those who hate you to see.

It’s falling apart-all over the place-when you need someone to love you, and they all look upon you as a sister.
So you harden yourself on the outside, and don’t let anyone in.
You once knew what love is, but you aren’t sure anymore.
That feeling has died in you, so that you can no longer feel that special feeling when someone kisses you.
But somehow, somewhere, something’s gonna break, and your defenses will be lowered for someone to hurt you.
That’s when you’ll learn to hate and to hurt back.
You’ll learn to think of yourself, to be your own friend because no one else wants you.

It’s falling apart-all over the place-when you need someone to talk to, and no one cares enough to listen.
So you harden yourself on the outside, so no one can see the struggle on the inside.
You close yourself of from the world and become wary of others.
You’ve turned to someone who knows what she speaks, because the same thing has happened to me.
But somewhere, somehow, something’s gonna break–

and I”m not gonna be around to see it happen.
–1986

 

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